There is poison in my tea and blood on my teeth. I only know how to live in the violence. The ocean tosses me around like a child with her favorite doll and the chaos feels like the love of my mother, back when she still held her innocence like a weapon. Girlhood was one gift she could never give me, but the rage she gave instead is equal enough. Girlhood is Godhood after all and I know too well how to be worshiped. The deeply maternal act of being prayed to eats me alive som