(This essay was pulled from our Sep 2024 Artist Spotlight digimag)
Mia Soto’s short story "Why Did You Stay?" and her poem "Troubled Eye" both explore the emotional and physical toll of unresolved trauma, focusing on characters who are trapped by their own pasts. In "Why Did You Stay?", Mammilyn reflects on her abusive marriage to Jim, struggling with the conflict between her love for him and the pain he caused her. She admits to her daughter, “I loved him and I still do” (p. 15), even after his death. Despite the years of abuse, Mammilyn remains tethered to him, illustrating how trauma often binds us to the very things that cause harm. As Soto mentions in her interview, “Survivors of abuse are often blamed...but as time proceeded, I’ve learned not to” (p. 24). This insight deepens Mammilyn’s complexity, showing that her inability to let go is not about weakness, but a result of years of emotional conditioning.
In "Troubled Eye," Soto explores a different kind of entrapment—the sleeplessness that comes from an overactive mind. The speaker describes their battle with insomnia, stating, “My little spinning mind...forces me to keep my troubled eyes awake” (p. 6). The sleepless nights symbolize a deeper unrest, an inability to find peace amidst inner turmoil. Much like Mammilyn, the speaker cannot disconnect from their thoughts and emotions, and the toll it takes on their body is evident in the poem’s vivid imagery of exhaustion. Soto herself remarks that she emphasizes the “darker experiences” in her work, a theme that is evident in both the story and poem (p. 25).
Both works share a focus on how unresolved trauma manifests physically and emotionally. In "Why Did You Stay?", Mammilyn’s inability to accept freedom, even after her daughter tells her, “You’re free now” (p. 15), reflects the long-lasting impact of abuse. Similarly, in "Troubled Eye," the speaker’s sleeplessness represents the inescapable grip of emotional distress. Soto expertly captures how the mind’s relentless spinning, whether due to past abuse or internal conflict, prevents her characters from finding peace.
Through Mammilyn and the speaker in "Troubled Eye," Soto explores the lasting weight of trauma and how it shapes not only emotional well-being but also physical experiences. Both characters are trapped, unable to let go of their pasts, which mirrors Soto’s reflections on how survivors of difficult circumstances often struggle to break free. These works offer a poignant portrayal of the complexities of trauma and its deep, often unrelenting hold on the human spirit.