IN THE WAKE OF YOU by Nix Carlson

I watch jagged rocks reflecting light

At odd angles,

Reminding me of the muscles in your back and 

That decision I regret.

Like wearing sandals in the winter,

Feet stinging with each step.

Numb, yet all I can feel. 

Mingling Razer snakes light up green on a screen

And I am jerked back to your room,

An internal pounding from the unapologetic bang

Of my head on the wooden corner by your bed.

Smooth and cool and unforgiving 

Like the history between us.

The pounding is compounded by 

The stinging tears which you ignore.

Your vines wind around me,

And I am reminded of previous consent

Which ensures my discredit.

Your soft sheets brand my skin with lye,

The brambles of your face scratch my neck,

And I turn my head to 

Pretend that I’m not real.

Thick books clutter your windowsill,

Mocking the voice stuck deep in my throat,

Like a fish trapped beneath the cracked ice on the lake outside your window

Not quite trying to escape. 

But breaking out wouldn’t make any difference

When the nightmare is forever on a loop,

Flickering in the corners of my mind.